Elaine & Lancelot || 02

She was a coward even if the world seemed to think otherwise. She was brilliant at keeping up the facade but he knew the truth, he could see right through her. However, he had no clue of what was about to happen. She gazed at him in his sleep and poured her heart out, for he would not hear her and she could not bear to tell him while he was conscious : 

“I need you but you do not need me. 

You have everything and I struggle to keep whatever little I possess. 

I do not want to lose you because you are the one person who knows me,sees me. 

You are the man I love and the closest thing I have to a true,loyal friend. 

The people shall not understand, for they are oblivious.

That said, you have the power to hurt me like no one else and you do not shy away from using it.

You know I could have never been so close to anybody except for you; you mean the world. 

I wish you would love me unconditionally and tell me that I mean everything to you, that you have never loved anyone like that before and that you cannot live without me. 

I wish that were true. 

I wish I could trust you with my feelings without having to hide my identity. 

I am you, alas you are not me. 

I wish you took the trouble and pain to treat me like no one else,like I am special. 

I wish you would love me as an integral part of your being, and not a trad-able part. 

I wish you would fear the thought of losing me. 

I wish it were like in the books I often read. 

I wish I were special for you but I definitely am not. 

Hiding away in my tower, I am more of a pain.

I envy you for having everything that I always dreamed of having. 

Dreams of mine that will never be fulfilled unless I leave this tower to which I have been doomed. 

Dreams of mine that i could simply weave, not live.

Alive, I will never make it so I bid you farewell, Ser. 

I have loved none but you, I am yours truly. 

Half agony, half freed, I leave and I shall see you on the other side, wherever that might be."

She woke up, kissed him gently on his forehead, got dressed and left her tower. She knew she was cursed and would never make it through the river. Yet, she got on the boat in the middle of the night, never to see daylight again.